Three ways to build resiliency

Does this sound familiar to you?

You start a new, positive habit (taking lunch breaks, speaking up for yourself, meditating, etc). Things are going well. You’re feeling good and confident. One day you don’t do the habit. It’s ok, there’s tomorrow, and you’re feeling good right? Days go by. Then, something challenging happens. You hit a wall. That new habit you started – where is it when you need it? 

What is resiliency? 

Resiliency is often defined as the ability to overcome adversity. It’s more than that. Resiliency is the ability to navigate challenge while being who you are.

What do I mean by that? Think of a time when you overcame a something hard. You made it onto the other side. Did you feel proud or inspired? Did you get angry, say, or do things you didn’t mean? Did you lose something, maybe yourself, along the way?

My job as a coach is to ask these hard questions without judgement and to hold space for your best self to shine through.

Hard experiences in our lives bring us to our emotional knees. Over time, your habits, perceptions, and judgements – formed from these experiences – can either help you become your best self or, you can become someone you’re not proud of.

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How resiliency is built

Resiliency is created when three major channels of development converge – challenge, self-esteem, practice. Strengthen your approach in each channel and you will strengthen your resiliency. 

1. Challenge

“In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity.”
– Albert Einstein

The catch-22 is that resilience is built in times of challenge. The practice of shifting into a growth mindset – one that sees opportunity – is one of the most powerful ways to get through challenge with your best self intact.

2. Self-esteem

“Why fit in when you were born to stand out?” 
– Dr. Seuss

Know who you are. Believe in who you are. This is the number one goal clients come to me for. When you have strong self-esteem you are naturally more resilient in times of challenge. If you want to build yours, consider coaching. 

3. Practice

“Practice creates the master.” 
– Miguel Ruiz

This is one of the hardest channels and so key to being able to keep going in hard times. I am a sailor. I’ve learned to practice my skills in calm conditions so that when the big winds hit, I can take them on with ease and grace.

Challenge invites you to see opportunity. Self-esteem builds your confidence and courage. Practice allows you to consciously commit to a strong, calm, resilient you. 

Build your resilience with mindfulness

One of the greatest benefits of mindfulness is resiliency. Use your breath to slow down your response in hard times. Simply pausing allows you space to choose how you want to show up. As who you are, your best self.