Learning to Trust Myself

Do you trust yourself?

What comes up for you when I ask you the mirror of this question: Do you doubt yourself?

Trust is the core of every single relationship. Think about all the things you trust on a day to day basis: where you buy your food, the quality of a product or service, that the lights in your home will turn on when you flick the switch.

Now consider the three biggest relationships in your life: with others, with the world around you, and with yourself.

Here’s more questions for you. No judgement - simply notice was is arising for you.

Do you trust that the people around you will be there when you wake?

Do you trust that your leader or client is honest and cares about you?

Do you trust that your friends, team, and/or family have your back?

Do you trust that you’ll make the right decision, even when it’s hard?

Do you trust that the path you’re on will lead you to your destination?

If you answered no to any of these questions, ask yourself why. Again no judgement needed, simply tune in to what’s real for you.

In my coaching work I’ve found that trust (like so many things including love, peace, happiness) begins with the self.

When you trust yourself you are able to trust in others. Conversely, when you doubt yourself, you are likely to doubt others.

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Living in doubt

Since I was a kid I’ve loved the outdoors. Especially hiking in the woods and travelling by canoe, kayak or sailboat across water. Nature is place where I learned to trust myself.

You see, I didn’t always. From a young age until my mid twenties, I was blocked by anxiety and worry. From big to little things, I was afraid that I would make the wrong choice and that I’d let people down, waste time, money, and people’s energy. I have lain awake many nights worried I said the wrong thing. Focused on a narrow view of how I could navigate the world I doubted almost every single choice and action. I continued to the point that even when I nailed it I couldn’t see my win or celebrate it.

After countless panic attacks and sleepless nights, I eventually learned to trust myself.

Learning to trust myself

Like my clients my journey started out with a great coach who helped me come up for air. She helped me see that that I had choice in how my life unfolded, that I didn’t have to keep doing what I was doing. I could find a new way.

Then came time in the woods and on the water, reconnecting to myself and what I valued. Followed by daily meditation which has taught me to sit in my feelings and not let my feelings dictate my choices.

As an entrepreneur trust is critical to get through the hard journey of working for yourself. There are countless crevasses of doubt to fall into. Mazes of negative mind loops to take you away from your vision. Trust is what allows you to stay steady and committed when you can’t see the summit.

Last year (to the dismay of my amazing mother-in-law) I went on a 200 km solo hike by myself with the main goal of learning to trust myself. I wanted to know: what choices would I make with no one there to guide or support me? What choices would I make when confronted with challenge, fear, loneliness, hunger and emotional and physical pain?

Throughout that trip I learned that I’m capable beyond my imagination. That I do know what I want and need. That I have a voice that I can choose to quiet or raise.

Do you trust yourself?

If your answer is no, why? What’s missing for you to truly tune into that inner wisdom that guides you.

Trust is an anchor to realign to yourself and your path.

May you trust yourself. May you trust your way.