I once listened to a speaker share a story of a woman who was stood up on a blind date. Sitting in the restaurant alone, she called a friend and told them what happened. The friend began to tell her all the things that were wrong with her - of course, they didn’t come. You wore the wrong dress. Why would anyone go out with you? And the woman, she sat there taking it.
A moment later the speaker said who the friend was - it was the woman talking to herself.
Many of us, we do this all the time. We speak to ourselves like we would never speak to another person.
How you talk to yourself matters. The languages between your small self and best self are two completely different dialects. One makes you weak, one makes you strong.
Self-love is not selfish. It’s necessary. When you are strong you make strong choices that bring positive change, fulfillment, and possibility to your life.
How do you love yourself?
There are only two ways:
Through what you say and what you do.
I’m not going to sugar-coat this in a blanket statement like “it’s ok, luck up, stop being a downer, love yourself!” It doesn’t work like that. You know, you’ve likely tried. To unwind years worth of negative self-talk takes time and practice, exponentially aided with the guidance of a coach.
And… you can start today.
Start by stopping. Stop vocalizing the negative things you want to say about yourself. Bite your tongue if you have to.
For every negative thought, say a positive one. Start small if you need.
Keep going. A daily practice is better than a power weekend away.
To your best self shining through.