What do you value?

This month we are exploring the question:

What do you value?

I ask this question - and answer it myself - often. Why? Because it is at the core of why we do what we do, why we care about things, and when things go well and things go off. It’s also present in the times we disagree and have a conflict with people. More to come on this next week.

At this time of year it’s an important question to ask because the hustle and bustle of the holidays can bring out the best and not so best parts of ourselves. When we know what we value, we can understand why we care about things and why we don’t. 

what do you value?.png

What do I value? 
Here’s three bigs ones that keep coming up for me:


Kindness

A big theme in my life this year has been kindness. To myself when I fail, and to others when they fail (a classic pairing for perfectionists!). I value when people are kind when things go wrong. I value the little and big kind actions from strangers. 


Beauty

I value the beauty of a morning forest and an ocean sunset. I value the neat and tidy, a clean kitchen and an empty sink. I value the beauty of an honest message. The beauty that comes when we are vulnerable. The beauty of seeing someone shining and taking courageous action. 


Freedom 

I value the freedom to be ourselves, to pursue our calling, to become all we are. I am grateful and privileged to live in a place where I have freedom. I value when people freely express themselves, especially on a dance floor and with their ideas.

What do you value? 

A tactile strategy to get clear

This month we are exploring clarity. Clear is one of the pillars that guides my life and my life’s purpose. When we are clear, we are able to make choices that align with who we are and what we want. When things are fuzzy or when we are in the busyness of the day-to-day, it's harder to make the right ones for ourselves and others. 

Where do you go to get clear?

Measure twice, cut once

There’s an adage I love that I often share in my workshops. It comes from the contractor world and it’s a saying - measure twice, cut once. It means - take the time to get clear about your move so that when you make that move, you do it right. 

Often what happens sometimes is that we (including me) measure once - usually quickly - and make a decision, AKA the cut. What happens next is we need to make lots more cuts to course correct the first one. We are left with a game plan full of holes that we then spend time and energy fixing. 

Space allows you to measure twice. 

Make space to get clear. Get clear to make great choices.

a tactile strategy to get clear

A tactile strategy to get clear

This more tactical practice reframes your relationship to that much needed space that helps you get clear. It asks you to take a new approach to your schedule - the gatekeeper of our time and space! 

Here’s how it works:

Make a list of the top things that came up when you ask yourself this month’s question - where do you go to get clear?

  • Pull up your schedule. Breathe.
  • Add three things you identified to your calendar. For example, In mine I add Mondays 5:30pm yoga, Tuesdays 11:00am nature walk, Thursdays 3:00pm call Sarah.
  • Once you’ve made your additions, go back into each event and change the title to “get clear.” You can write the event details in the location or notes section. I am a big fan of colour coding so I code these events my favourite colour blue to create a positive, visual cue.
  • Step back, take a few breaths, and look at your schedule. What you’ll see are dedicated spaces for clarity (the deeper need) instead of the task or action.

The reframe allows you to focus on your deeper needs instead of a task or action. Give it a try See what happens.

Where do you go to get clear?

This month we are exploring the question:

Where do you go to get clear?

One of the things I hear a lot from my clients is the wish for more space. Much of our world is set up so that we are going from one thing to the next.Our schedules are filled with back-to-back meetings where we’re already late for the next one because when that one ends, the another begins. 

For me, it’s time in nature and on my yoga mat, moving my body. It’s talking to a friend who listens without judging me. I need this space like I need oxygen. When I don’t get it, I tend to made the wrong choices. Without this space, things can get worse. I can get saucy and yell at people (who I love and don’t want to yell at). 

Can you relate to that?

It can feel like there’s always something that needs your attention. For me, sometimes I feel that if I’m not hustling and ‘producing,’ then I am not doing enough. A common topic that comes up in my coaching practice is how our value is wrapped into external validation. What we produce is a refection of our worth in the world.

Clarity | Life coaching quote Urszula Lipsztajn

If that’s our driver, then we just keep producing, filling up the space with doing. That doing - it’s like the trail that lights your path forward is clouded in a fog. It’s hard to take the next step when you can’t see clearly where you’re going.

If there’s no space, how do we get clear about what we’re doing and why?

So how we do make space? Stay tuned as I’ll share a practice next week. For now, keep breathing into this question - Where do you go to get clear? Notice if you’re getting enough time in those places. 

Know that with this new awareness you’ve already changed what happens next.

VIDEO QUESTION | clarity

Have you ever left a situation and said aloud or to yourself -  "I need to clear my head."

That moment when you realize what you need is space. To make your next move, to catch your breath, to exit a tough conversation, to make a hard choice.

Getting clear is critical to decision-making. Without clarity, we can make choices that aren't what's really calling.

Calm, clear, and strong are the three pillars that guide my life's purpose. This month’s MOMENT COACHING video question explores clarity. Find your mindful seat. Have a pen and paper handy. Here we go. Deep breath in.

How to create a positive mindset

When you put your observer hat on and watch your thoughts, what do you notice?

The number one barrier we have to self-actualization is our mind. Limiting thoughts, negative self-talk - they keep us small, stuck, weak. Our thoughts can make us a victim of our circumstances. Where there is always something wrong.

Negative thinking also takes a lot of time and energy. These thoughts spin worry and stress like a fog that never seems to lift.  If your actions come from a negative mindset, are you in your highest self?

What if you transformed your mind into your biggest champion?

thoughts don't have meaning until you give them meaning..png

Our mind has the ability to be one of our greatest assets. Through positive thought you are able to boost your self esteem and confidence, go for your dreams, speak up in hard moments, and so much more. You can make the impossible, possible.

A practice for creating a positive mindset

I am a big fan of mantras. Mantras are repeated words or sentences you say to yourself to create a desired feeling. I use mantras all the time with my clients and I use them myself every day. If you are thinking that you’re not into mantras, I challenge you to become aware that you may have mantras already that you're not conscious to. Instead of being positive they can sound like - I can’t, I’m not good enough, not again.

Reframing our thoughts requires a reframe in what we say to ourselves.

This week I invite you to practice saying this simple mantra everyday for a week:

I choose my thoughts.

Give it a try. See what happens.

The power of thoughts

When you put your observer hat on, what do you notice about your thoughts? Do you have a pattern with some of them? Do they hold you back?

Remember, our thoughts don’t have meaning until we give them meaning. What kind of meaning do you give your thoughts?

There’s this idea that meditation can stop thoughts. If you’ve practiced meditation, you will know that that is not true. It’s impossible to stop thoughts. What meditation does is it allows us to make space between our thoughts and the meaning we give them.

thoughts don't have meaning until you give them meaning.-2.png

Play in the space

Without that space, our thoughts can control us. Negative thoughts especially can result in low self-esteem, a lack of confidence, and can lead us to taking unhealthy action for ourselves and others.

There is this great quote from Mahatma Gandhi: 

“Your beliefs become your thoughts, 
Your thoughts become your words, 
Your words become your actions, 
Your actions become your habits, 
Your habits become your values, 
Your values become your destiny.”


Action starts as a thought. If you are having thoughts that are holding you back, where is there space for you to have thoughts that free you?

This week I invite you to play in the space. This can be as simple as taking a few breaths when you notice a thought that holds you back. Or it can be a meditation practice where the space is longer. Try whichever works for you and your life. See what happens.

VIDEO QUESTION | positive mindset

Do you wish you could stop your thoughts sometimes? Do they keep you up at night or distract you from the present moment?

If your answers are yes, you're not alone (me included!).

Not only can our thoughts keep us awake, they can also get in our way. 

This month’s MOMENT COACHING video question explores the world of thoughts. How they impede us and, as I'll share with you through October, how your thoughts can serve your highest self.

So get quiet. Grab a notebook and pen. Deep breath in.